I am currently five months pregnant, and I always look like I'm carrying twins when I'm prego. And of course I'm ALWAYS pregnant during the summer, so wearing all that flowing black velvet and making allowances for the belly is incredibly difficult. Top it off by the fact that I live in England and they don't grow people as big as they do in the States, so I am incredibly, totally SoL when it comes to clothing.

And what about clothing for the kids? Bob the Builders, stuff with cute Disney things on them, toy trucks, Barbie...YUCK! I hated that stuff when I was a kid, and I don't really want to impose it on our munchkin. So, how do you raise a rather non-mainstream child?

First off, what do you wear? Well, I've found some very cool (both in the slang and in the temperature terms) options for summer wear; slips! I mean come on, most summer skirts are nothing but slips in disguise and usually twice the price. A nice little slip is almost like a dress on some folks, is just stretchy enough to allow your belly to expand without having to change size, comes in black or white, has little lace bits here and there, AND if you get them at a thrift store, is usually a fraction of the price of a new dress! I have the skirt slips, the full slips, all sorts of things, and team them up with sheer, oversized shirts and stripey tights! Nice and cool, and versatile because you don't need to discard them after your pregnancy is up!

Another option is learning how to sew. No, don't panic, making skirts is really easy, and shirts aren't much harder. Granted, sewing isn't as cheap as it used to be, and you honestly won't be saving yourself a lot of money, but the perk is that you can make clothing that really will FIT you. Get good enough, and you can adapt your clothing any way you please. It's worth having a sewing machine in a goth house, trust me!

Conversely, if you're all thumbs and you'd rather someone else did the work for you, try and find a gothic clothing store that does custom work. Here in the UK, Wysteria's seamstresses will adapt anything you like into a more maternal fit. Her link is in the Links section. There are undoubtedly other sites that will do the same, but just be sure to keep it as simple as you can. Order one really smashing dress if you like, but remember that you won't be wearing these clothes very long.

Shoes - sorry, hun but you better put those high heel platform things away! Feet and ankles swell during pregnancy, and your balance is going to be off too. Don't risk a broken ankle - have some sense and put some flats on! Thankfully, there are Mary Janes and that sort of thing out that will probably still go with your wardrobe. My trustiest pair of shoes are my knee-high Angel Fleuvogs. I've worn the things for seven years now, and they're still holding together for me. The best investment in shoes I've ever made. Get some flats that are also "flat-ering" and wear those instead!

Baby clothes: well thankfully you don't have to dress your child up in Disney clothing unless you really want to. I've found punk baby clothing, diapers that say OI! and all sorts of stuff online, mostly in the US. Conversely, you can do some basic unisex white and there may be some things you actually enjoy (husband and I are rather fond of Classic Pooh). I've even found a few baby Ed Gorey t-shirts here and there which I thought was a hoot. Some hints on baby clothes: they don't need to be new. Newborns and children grow out of clothing so fast it isn't even funny. Haunt a charity shoppe and see if you can't find onesies and such second hand. Secondly - be an open-minded parent. You may want your child to follow in your footsteps, but let them be a kid; no child needs to be dressed in black all the time. Give them some colour, some stimulation! A nursery should look like a nursery, not a morgue, but there are options...

Does the idea of bright, sugary colours set your teeth on edge? Do you absolutely REFUSE to have Disney products in your home (I know we do!)? Or are you really sick of the gender stereotyping of children that begins at a ridiculously early age? Well I've tooled around here and there and found some rather nice, unisex options that you may enjoy: